Hello, I’m Ethan Jaynes, and you’re not. Here are today’s Headlines.

• It is safe to say that the Roberto Alomar story is “interesting” < Deadspin
• I was roasted, a little bit < Give Me The Rock
• The Fundamentals < Baller Blogger
• Lane Kiffin promises to try to not offend any more SEC people < Fan IQ
• Your complete NBA All Star Weekend Schedule < Awful Announcing
• A post on the sad state of woman’s basketball < HH Reynolds & > Joba impersonator faces charges 
• The Phelps Petition < Zoner Sports
• Are the Nuggets unis ugly < Steady Burn
• Great idea of the day < TrueHoop
• Durant is hungry like the wolf < Josh Q Public
• Abreu joins the Angels crowded outfield < Tony Blogs
• The Worlds best Staches < S Thigh
• Top 10 Awesome Dunks < Gunaxin
• What was voted the top movie line? < Moondog Sports
• San Fran is liberal < Sports Rubbish
• More Great links on Extra Mustard. 

Today’s moment of bliss comes from Ball Don’t Lie. Sweet vid of the 1995 Slam Dunk Contest. As Skeets says, the outfits are part of the highlight.