Hello, I’m Ethan Jaynes, and you’re not. Here are today’s Headlines.

• Why doesMLB management hate the WBC < Paneech
• MLB attendance could drop 20% < Big League Stew
• The Eagles will fire you for whatever reason they want < HHR
• VC turning back the clocks < Ball Don’t Lie
• Find out what a Danwhich is < Deadspin
• Bulls, if Vinny is out then who is in < Zoner Sports
• Curt Schilling Interview < Fan IQ
• Malkin will fire a puck at your face < PSaMP
• Whitten and Romo tell T.O. to go deep < The Sports Union
• The Bobcats are winning! < That NBA Lottery Pick
• Shortstops Fantasy Preview < S Thigh
• Racist Baseball Fans < Sports Rubbish
• ACC pairings are set < The 5th Corner
• Topps must hate kids < Bootlegger Sports
• The Dwight Howard Show < Hawdwood Houdini
• Top 10 reasons why T O signed with the Bills < Total Pro Sports

Today’s moment of bliss comes from Extra Mustard. The Breakfast song from Friday.. I loved it so much I had to post it twice.